:::PMD::: "No one on the corner has SWAG like us."

4:47 a.m.

"When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom... let it be, let it be." -[The Beatles]




Feelings of anxiety overcome me. It ain't all roses. I lay down after a day's worth of pacing and mourning to rest my body in preparation for the next sad day. I close my eyes attempting to conquer the task of sleep and it seems impossible. Absolutely impossible.


I don't have many friends. Don't trust many people. Keep my guard up at all times, cause that's what they said to do. Even those who's blood I share, I keep at a distance. It easy. My heart is too fragile. There's a lot I can't take.


Then came.... The Wondaland Arts Society. A group of dynamic individuals that have had such an impact on my life, that words couldn't sufficiently describe the depths of my gratitude.


There are people you come across in your life that instantly mark their territory in your heart. Keith was my big brother. I just talked to him. He just finished giving me advice about doing what I love. He just got through cracking a joke on me. His voice lingers in mind with his last words to me: "See you later, mama."


Later never came. Instead, one Saturday morning has turned my world upside down. I am utterly confused and hurt. That could have been me. It could of been you.


A gentle giant. Keith reminded me a lot of my father. I used to tell him that all the time. And his response was, "that means he's good people" and you were Keith. You absolutely were.


I feel guilty. If there weren't people like me who need reality checks then people like Keith wouldn't have to die. I got my reality check. The shake that I need to wake myself up. As Janelle would say... I've been "walking dead". Yup. That's it. That has to be it. That's the only logical reason I can come up with.


My heart hurts. Oh, how this pains me so.


No goodbyes. See you later. I'm gonna do my best to make it there. I love you man. And like I told Chandra whatever she needs with the kids, I will do. That's the least I could for sharing such a good man like you.


See you at the crossroads.