"Life is a process. Feel free to evaluate yourself, be open to criticism and exercise the right to change. Forgive but never forget. Love even when your heart is broken. There is truth to the idea of perception being reality. Always do you and keep in mind that perfection is non existent. You should only strive to be the best you. There is also no such thing as a person who doesn't make mistakes. Consider how hard it is change yourself and then apply that to others. All you can do is say you are sorry. Live life like there is no tomorrow or like you'll live forever. There is no in between. Once you begin to wrap your mind around these things, you will change. Change for the better." - Alexandra Joseph

GIVE KANYE A BREAK!
All I have to say is... whoever cut off Kanye West before he got a chance to pay respect to his mother is just... tasteless. There are so many people you could have cut-off. And yes Mr. West is known for abusing his time with no so well thought out statements but geez. Can moms get her time too? Damn.


And Usher is the whackest ever for making that horrible comment in regards to Kanye. Is Usher even relevant anymore? Either way, even if he does come out with an album of any importance, Usher Raymond the IV will always be gay, whack and the WHACKEST.

Yes, that made perfect sense to me.


But...


I thought this was dope. Especially Daft Punk.







"Go ahead, go nuts go APE Shit...."

Ok.


I'm not crazy. I'm really not.


Well, maybe I am. I feel like I am though. Why?


Because its been a month and some change since my homie Keith passed and for some reason I still can't wrap my mind around it. It absloutely mind boggling. After talking to a couple of my Wondaland Arts peeps, especially my conversation with Emily. I have found that my reaction has a lot to do with deep seeded issues that I need to confront.

A serious self evaluation needs to be made. For me writing my words out helps to sort various things out and so this shall be my first step. Publicly. Who cares though, right?

I don't know. For me, the hardest thing to really understand is how life somehow goes on. I have heard time and time again, that life goes on. But when dealing with actual life and death. The statement changes meaning. In my mind I am consistently asking the powers that be, "What do you mean life just goes on?" "How does that work?" "How is that fair?" & most of all "How is that humane?"

The fact that you can just die and life can simply just go on is whack [the first word that came to mind]. It is whack to the millionth power. Keith dies and everyone is Soul II Soul.... "back to life, back to reality."


Wow. Just typing that very thought makes me flustered. Extremly unreal.


SO.... bear with me. There is a point.


Harsh realizations like the fact that life goes on has got me into a deep thought process. If life goes on for other people after we depart this world. Then we must do something to be remembered long after we are gone. If we don't we are just fading memories only valid in the lives of those that really knew us. I might be next. Don't ask me why I think that. But I do. Who knew that Keith was going to leave so damn early. I could very well be next. Then what?

I told you I might be crazy.

What are people going to say about me? The sad thing is I really don't know. And that bothers me. I would like to know that when I lay my head down to rest in peace I will have touched the masses, created a legacy and made my loved ones proud.

I try not to vocalize these fears because everyone around me has experienced death in one way or another and some even worst but this was my first real experience. And I do not look forward to anymore. To say these things out loud to people feels like I am whining. Like someone in the crowd will randomly tell me to shut the hell up because life goes on. Deal with it.

I'm trying to.

Dear Sherri Shepherd,

On behalf of intelligent black women everywhere, I would like to say shut the hell up. Really, just shut the hell up. Everytime you open that giant gaping hole you call a mouth, you take black women in television back to square one. You really show what social promotion can do to a child have a successful chance of becoming a productive part of society. That which you are not. If you didn't know that the planet you live on was round, then I really question the ethics in letting you pass elementary school. At first I wanted to blame Barbara Walter for putting you on the air, embarassing the rest of us like that. [Thank God, for Whoopi Goldberg.] But I can't blame Ms. Walters. No one is responsible for anyone being that damn dumb. I just can't wrap my mind around. Kind of like I can't wrap my mind that you would go on national television and not only admit you don't vote but that your only reason you are voting this year is because you didn't want to be left out of the discussion for the next year. You didn't even know it was 4 years. Nevermind that fact that countless black people fought, suffered and lost their lives for the right to vote. I guess for your sake we can argue that they also fought for the right to choose, but I would bet a pretty penny that you are not that deep. Really, a great idea for our economy is to apply a stupid tax. If you are stupid then you should get taxed. Simple.


I can't even enjoy Whoopi and Joy because of you. I can't even dislike Elizabeth as much because I so busy detesting you.

Please get off my television set and go back to the meaningless exsistence you came from. Please.


I thank you in advance.

A.Jo

Randomly speaking to my co-worker about interracial relationships. As a black woman I can understand why other black women don't appreciate the whole "white women are stealing all the good ones" because I used to think like that but now I don't.

Why because I still have hope for the other black men. You know the one's society classifies as the low life scum of the world.... yeah them. I love them.

I think everyone, white, black, Asian or Hispanic makes mistakes. I believe we all react differently to life's situations. And I don't believe that there is a shortage of good black men.

And I simply don't have the time to harp on the whack black men who rather chose a white woman over a fine black one (like myself) because Willie Lynch has got a hold of him. Clearly, that is no man I need to be pursuing. That man has issues.

Plus, I would like to believe that I wanted to date a white man, I should be able to do so. Not because I'm so slave wench that by entering a relationship with a white man would subject me to becoming a sexual object. But because he loves me and I love
him and we happen to be of different persuasions.

So here are a list of FINE white men, that I would date in a heartbeat!




1. George Clooney

Distingushed. Refined. That Carey Grant quality that keeps his sex appeal in tact.


2. Viggo Mortenson

Please don't ask me why, but I think he is soooo sexy. Extremely different yet captivating. I likes.


3. Javier Bardem

Okay. I know he's not technically white, but I had to put him somewhere. I love him. Really I do.


4. Brad Pitt

At first I really didn't like him, cause everyone else liked him but then I say Troy. I digress.


5. Jonathan Rhys- Meyers


He looks a lot like Elvis. And Elvis was a racist MF but he was fine. Plus did you see MatchPoint?


6. Adam Levine

I love his soul. I think he has a well defined face. He's just cute, damnit. Nothing deep. And I like him better than Justin.



7. Ryan Gosling

I remember seeing him on Mickey Mouse and thinking he was odd. But now, I think he has a black dude's swagger. I don't know. Regardless of the fact of why I like him... I do.


8. Anderson Cooper

Not everyone's cup of tea. But you get to watching CNN long enough and that hair gets ya! Its just gets ya!


9. Johnny Depp

He's such an artist. Such a non-conformist. I love a man that passionate about his work. He oozes passion. I like that.


10. David Beckham

Self Explanatory.

Apparently a lot of work was not done this week, because this is the special that I chose to be a slacker. Yes! A slacker. I needed a break and I am not one to take one whenever I am the hell tired. The man will not, I repeat will not keep me down. So... I decided to do watch TV. Oh God, big mistake.... huge mistake. There is nothing on television but crap and the worse thing is that those who watch can really get to liking the crap... its like a drug.

I will say that before today I only disliked BET, now I hate them. Why? Hate is such a strong word, but its appropriate. BET absolutely sucks, especially those idiots they have over at 106 & Park. I don't know the chick's name but she looks horrible. Like she just robbed some 15 year old of their wardrobe. And Terrance is cute but he's sooooo extra. Sit down and take your medicine, boy.

And Comic View sucks now. Probably not new news to anyone who actually watches television. But I remember as a kid I would watch Comic View when D.L Hughley was the host or even when they had Rickey Smiley as a host. It used to be so funny. Now its J. Anthony Brown's old, country self, these tacky dancers and no name comedians giving the worst impressions of Martin Lawrence.

This is so sad. The only major black channel (still, I mean I guess I should count TV1 but... nah.) we have and it is just pure buffoonery. Which is why I have to get into this media game and switch a few things up cause the misrepresentation of me is horrendous. Everytime I turn on BET I feel like I threw up in my mouth a little.

I just want to steal Toure and Uncle Jeff for my own newsworthy purposes. BET doesn't need them. And what happened to Jackie Reid?

Evidence that Bob Johnson sold his coon soul to the Devil [Viacom] that is.

But I digress... you should know its that time of the month. Why should you know this? This note was rather angry, don't you think. As someone over at BET would say, It be's like that sometime.

I wish that I wasn't so vain, that I could be concerned with the risk of sounding like I am. If that makes sense. It does to me, so I'll roll with it. I will however, use a disclaimer and let you in on two very important factors. The first is that despite the borderline arrogant exterior, I am extremely insecure. I have complexes that have helped to develop a strong, sturdy and reliable defense mechanism also know as my egotism. The second, who cares if I'm vain, ask yourself which one of the deadly sins do you struggle with?


I have never made it a point to hide my "confident" ways. I am who I am and for the most part I understand the inner workings of the innovative piece of revolutionary machinery, that is my brain. I appreciate the fact that no one is made like me and there will never again be another after I am gone. I am grateful for this DNA that flows through my veins because I honestly feel that when I was born I hit the genetic lottery. Not only in the physical sense but in every aspect. I consider myself to be wise beyond my years and anything that I do in life whether it be good or bad, I can wholeheartedly say that I knew what I was doing. With the exception of the Holy Father with art in heaven, no one is the leader of me. I understand there is a difference between being elite and being an elitist. I am not an elitist. And just before you state the obvious and scoff at the audacity of arrogance, you must know that if I don't it, you won't.... no one will. Believe me, no one will.

Its funny a thing to observe when people walk all over nice folks and use them until the lines of utility and abuse are blurred. It's more than comedic to hear the things that people say about a person like me who carries themselves in a certain manner and expect you to the same in the provided manner.

I'm a bitch when I speak my mind. I'm slut, if there are no strings attached. I'm pretty but just for a dark skinned girl. And all in the same breath, I am weak if I say yes, I am stupid if I stay, lame for observing traditional values and I still wouldn't pass any paper bag test to obtain membership in that sorority. Does being legacy count? However... I digress.

In writing this I lost my original point, but here is my attempt to bring it back.

People misconstrue my confidence for arrogance and I assume that I believe I am everyone's cup of tea. F.Y.I... I am very aware that I am not. What absolutely boggles my mind yet amazes me at the same time is that the contrast to what I supposedly am, is a defeated, poor little black girl that always says yes allowing the world and more specifically her own flesh and blood to diminish the soul that God has given me.

And I do not comply.

Women are often baffled at the fact that I can attract a man or dare I say, seduce the opposite sex with a simple flash of a smile. Not even batting my eyelashes. To them it also seems sneaky. Whatever this act is, that I seem to inevitably commit when a man is in the room leaves me with a scent of betrayal to other women.

Men are too, caught of guard with their sudden attraction to me because as the world would have it, "I am not their type." Really what they mean to say is, "I usually like them visibly mixed so that we can make great looking babies because we all know that to have children with a black girl, more specifically a dark skinned negro is absolutely unacceptable for they would look like tar babies or rather, monkeys. Not mention, you don't have breast, hips or ass. Which really means I can't fuck you cause good sex equates to a really big ass not human being with emotions but an ass... a really big and fat one.

And for breaking the status quo rule, I pay. However, in the name of complexes and inferiority's, I pay with a smile on my face.

Hey chick, you don't have to talk to me. Being mad at me is not going to solve your problem which is really, him.


And young man, I desire that you learn that my aspirations of a mate are not based on some slave notion that I can't do any better. I can. And its not you brother.

Tell me again, what so audacious about my vanity? If I don't do it, you won't.